I could, I can, I can’t, I should… are weak words. They give you wiggle room to get out of doing something. In conversation they give power to others.
I will, I am, I won’t are strong words. There is no wiggle room. They are decisive.
- ‘I can go to the gym this evening’ vs ‘I will go to the gym this evening.’
- ‘No, I can’t go out tonight’ leads to a question, why can’t you go out tonight? vs ‘No, I won’t be out tonight’
- ‘I should post daily from now on’ vs ‘I am going to post daily from now on’
Charles Bukowski wrote on his grave the words “Don’t try’. At first I read this as a negative statement – don’t bother, its not worth trying. I was disappointed. Most of Bukowski’s poems that I had read, and loved, all uplifted me. They pushed me to ‘try’. To give it another go.
Why then did Bukowski sign off on such a negative note? Having thought about this I don’t think that he did. When Bukowski whispers ‘don’t try’ to you from the grave, he is in fact spurring you on. He is telling you – ‘Do not try to do it, DO IT!’ As Master Yoda would say, ‘do it or do not, there is no try’.
Words have power. Do not say that ‘you will try’. Say that you will and do it. Or, say that you wont do it, and don’t.
Consider the words you choose when speaking to yourself and others. By analysing and mediating on your use of words, over time you will choose better ones and get better results.